I’ve been thinking about the word strength a lot over the last few days, and how we apply it to our lives.
The quality or state of being strong,bodily or muscular power,vigor
Mental power,force or vigor.
When in the throes if depression we lose our strength physically and mentally,your body and mind coming to a standstill.
It’s hard to imagine having no strength, just like a floppy doll, even harder to imagine how you get it back, but when I think back I had strength in other more basic ways.
It takes considerable strength to open your eyes on a daily basis, to sit up, even get out of bed, to bathe,to clean house, to don that happy face mask to present yourself to the world, it’s the strength of shame trying to hide your sadness from the world outside.
So when those people who don’t understand tell you to get a grip, they clearly have no idea what your dealing with, would they have the strength at 2am or anytime not to listen to the demons when they come out to play, or to have such searing debilitating pain,but feel nothing, listen to the white noise in your head, not to walk out on that ledge…short answer NO.
That is not to say friends and family cannot be supportive, but depression is like sitting at a table for one and the loneliness it engenders is not always visible to the outside.
When you get to the recovery stage that takes a different kind if strength, not just the desire to be well, you have to open up your entire being, and look at it dissect it, and put it back together piece by painful piece, and that takes strength.